edgesI can see that I’m speedingedges by Sasukesadork
But I can’t feel myself moving.
Ever since I stopped drinking coffee
I spend all day trying to wake up.
I see my hands working
But I feel dead around the edges.
I meant it when I said it.
I don’t think I will be happy.
loyalYou found meloyal by Sasukesadork
at hell’s gate
tasting my footsteps in the air, your chin
raised and bobbing.
We’ve known each other longer than
the industrial revolution, acquainted
before I first wrapped my hands around a gun.
Sixteen thousand years
we’ve known each other.
In the winter, you swim in, I sip
steam-breathing primordial takeout
from thermal Precambrian hands.
Circling the dark earth, you finally found
the place I am to end and waited for me.
Your earth eyes closed, earth head bowed,
but still other eyes and other heads
blink and sniff at the air.
but you are careful
leading me away from the tomb.
I'm not here until it's overThe way they’re tearing up my houseI'm not here until it's over by Sasukesadork
Reminds me of way I imagine it feels
To have bare nerves in my mouth
To have bones, broken, pointing out of me
They’re ripping up the flooring
They’re pulling at the pipe ends
Scraping nails against the tiles
Ice picks through bird bones behind my eyes
If they hit the wrong place in the wall
The lights will go out
When they’re swinging and not missing
It shakes me all the way in my room
They told me the house is falling,
I close my eyes tight until it's over.
They say they’re here to fix it,
I pretend I’m not here until it’s over.
facebook picturesThe further I get from high school the more I hate all of youfacebook pictures by Sasukesadork
with your success stories and
your wedlock babies and your college boyfriends and
the further I get from my first year of college
the more I wonder if any of this has been worth it
and whether I ever liked anyone at all.
Because soon they won’t be wedlock and it won’t be college
and your Habitat For Humanity field trips will turn to weddings
and I’ll be watching from a shithole
somewhere in my hometown
hating the pictures almost as much
as I am hating myself.
When I get restless I slam my head between the covers
of the book that I bought when I was feeling alive and cultured,
the feeling that knowing things makes up for
weeks without texts and ignoring snapchats,
no one sent too many and I opened them all
then threw them away like letters in a different language.
I swear to god my mouth is a well and I’m always falling
into myself until I can talk my way out of it,
climbing over my teeth to get a good
|Point collection box so I can get rid of my junior-high created screen name.|
I can't change it unless I have a premium membership. The cheapest one of those is 396 points. I already have 72 points, so only 324 to go!
Anyone who donates gets a llama and lots of gratitude because who doesn't regret pretty much every choice they made in junior high.